What medical care do I want (or not want) if I'm terminal, seriously ill, or in a coma? (Here's where you want a Living Will/Advanced Directive - I found Five Wishes to be particularly good for helping me think through what I would like, and it's legal throughout the US.)
What if I become unable to direct my medical care? My mom, who had PD, developed dementia. That's just one of many scenarios. (Here's where you need to name a Health Care Representative. In some states, that's part of the Living Will.)
What if I can't direct my financial affairs? (Here's where you need a Power of Attorney, to give somebody that you've chosen the authority to manage your financial affairs.)
How can I make handing over my assets easier on my family? Having a will means that I can control where my money goes. Avoiding probate is primarily for avoiding all the time it takes. Wouldn't it be great that my family could put the house on the market immediately, for example, and not have to wait a year? (Here's where you need a Will, and maybe a Living Trust)
What about brain or other organ donation? (You can arrange for brain donation - for research - in advance, and can often include other organ donations on your driver's license)
What kind of memorial service/funeral do you want? If you want your ashes scattered, where? (Five Wishes addresses this, and you can also arrange for and pay for everything in advance.)
What are your userids and passwords so that 1) someone can take over your financial affairs when necessary, and 2) so somebody can close your social media accounts if you can't be on them any more? (This means maintaining a list, and letting key people know where it is.)
Recently, my husband and I sat down with a competent estate-planning/elder law attorney to talk about what we needed. It cost us a chunk of change, but 1) now my affairs are set up the way I want them to be, and 2) it is a huge relief. Our wishes have been made clear. Our kids have a knowledgeable firm to go to for help if they need it. In addition, our assets are available to us now, but can easily pass to our kids when we are both gone.
This is not trivial. My condition means that I can fall and hit my head, develop dementia, have delusions, or become unable to communicate my wishes. I want my wishes to be respected, so I need to 1) decide what they are, and 2) identify who can respect them, and 3) give them the authority to act.
I recommend this book, Estate Planning for People with a Chronic Condition or Disability. But this isn't enough: surfing the web for "free" tools, especially when the law varies from state to state, is not the ideal approach. Finding the right attorney is much better, in my opinion; start asking around.
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